BUILDING A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR CHILD II


There are certain things we parents do that directly or indirectly  affects our relationship with our children. Parents do not use put-down words or statements on your kids like “dumb, bastard,  stupid, lazy, or “Stupid, that makes no sense at all” or “What do you know, you’re just a child” or ”Naughty child” it hurts their feelings.

Do not use the same method used by your parents in bringing up to your child. Do not forget times has changed drastically.

Do not always stand on the ground of being right even when it is evidently clear that you are wrong. Even thou we are parents, we should be able to admit when wrong. 

Do not dominate your children or be over-controlling, you suppress their self-will

Do not create a conflict environment: Lack of supportive relationship with your partner can affect your child’s emotions leaving him/she scared due to frequent fights.

Do not take your children’s views, opinion or an expression of how they feel as an act of disrespect to you e.t.c

One of the basis to build a stronger relationship with our children is to show the child that you care about what matters to him/her.

Show acceptance
Do not expect too much.Give you child room to be himself/herself. 

Do not look for a perfect child and do not set limits that they can not achieved. Show that you appreciate them for who and what they are. Draw them close, 

Do not always push to have things done your way.

Pay attention to what your child is doing. Comment, correct and encourage when the need arise. It is important not to be absent minded or too distracted  as a parents when your child(ren) are around you. Peep at intervals to see where they are or what they are doing.

Listen to you child: Try to understand what they are saying even in their few/many words. My toddler son will say “I caryo…meaning carry me“. The spreading of arms give me clue that he wants me to carry him.. 

When we make time to listen and show interest in our children, it gives them the courage to talk and help us understand their feelings and how they think.  Listening actively helps to build relationships and communication skills in them.

Observe you child’s behavior. It will help have a clue on what he or she really wants without saying anything. It will also help you notice certain habits or character they exhibit that needs to be worked on.

Give affection: Hugging and showing affection makes kids feel loved and content. Reinforce that you’re there for them with your words and gesture . For example: “I love you” ; “I believe in you” ; “A kiss on the forehead” , “A pat on the shoulder”. 

When you Praise and recognize the efforts and accomplishments of your children it will build their self-esteem in the long run.

Yours truly,
Toke 

TIPS FOR PARENTING
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