CULTIVATING GOOD MORALS FOR YOUR CHILD

Apologies to my followers. I could not do any post earlier due to circumstances beyond my control. It feels good to be back. 
If we feel values are impossible to teach, they are too important to leave to chance.
“To educate a person in mind and not morals is to educate a menace to society” Theodore Roosevelt

Children are often ruled by emotions and a desire to be liked and fit in which can lead to poor moral decisions sometimes but if our children are taught moral values early and regularly they would have developed a good sense of conscience needed to respond properly.
A child’s moral growth is an ongoing process therefore the tendency to  make mistakes and behave poorly at times is possible”. As parents we should use this bad decisions as a yardstick for learning.

“ Allow your child to learn from mistakes and use the consequences of those errors in judgement as a chance o reinforce your values.” Dr. Mitchelle Barba

Raising a moral child in a difficult world takes some effort. Your child will not develop these virtues overnight. He/She may do the right thing repeatedly out of obedience to you. But growing in wisdom and exercising moral values is a lifelong project, and such values are learned most effectively through example and modeling by us parents, otherwise society will do it for us.

Key Note: 
Teach your children morals you would like them to live by from a very early age(toddler)

Use moral missteps as an opportunity for learning and vein forcing values

Remember that morals are taught over time and reinforced through out a life time.

The Root of good manners is respect. We teach our children to have respect for others within and outside the family, regardless of age, race, gender, appearance or behavior. For instances when they watch you apologise for something you did wrong.

Teach polite words early to your child. A one year old can learn to say thank you and please even though they don’t fully understand what it means. As long as they hear it from us parents, it becomes part of their vocabulary.

We should show them how to have respect for the property and possessions of others when he or she sees how you pay for something you broke accidentally.

Few steps to teach morals

We teach moral by first being an example/role model of what we intend to teach our children. Be honest if you want them to be honest.

“Talk with them about what’s right and wrong, and what constitutes good behavior and what doesn’t, Dr. Hill urges”. You should  have these kinds of conversations with your kids on a regular basis so that the topic of values becomes completely normal  in your family. Your conversation with your children should not just centre  around “What’s for dinner?” or “Where’s the remote control?” we should include ways to discuss lessons about values into your everyday interactions with your children.

1. Have a definition of the kind of morals you feel are most important to teach your child(ren). Every parents desires their child(ren) to be honest, compassionate, kind, respectful, responsible and generous etc. As your children grow older, their understanding of moral value increases as well. They become keen observers and do exactly what their parents do. Children might really not grasps the importance of all morals depending on their age. It doesn’t stop us from ranking  morals and teaching it to them one at a time so that they do not get overwhelmed thus missing the proper chance to learn the importance of each facet of morality.

2. Encourage self direction: Self direction is about teaching your children how to use their own feelings and sense of responsibility to decide whether something is right or wrong,and also to decide the right action to take. For example when they accidentally take something that doesn’t belong to them. What should be done?

3. Teach your child(ren) the consequences of making a bad or improper choices. It will help them  to weigh their options carefully by looking past the moment to see what their actions will reap. For instance, if your children continually don’t want to share their toys with a friend. One day that friend will also refuse to share his/her toys with them.
If your children are caught lying, we should explain it to them that such act can make people doubt their stories. We shouldn’t forget to also teach them that good morals also have good consequences. Always being responsible means that someone may ask them for their help, and always being kind could net them more friends to play with.

4. Offer a good example for your children to follow when it comes to morality. If you try to teach your children good morals while exhibiting less-than-exemplary morals yourself, you will be sending  a mixed and confusing message to your children. For instance you teach them to tell the truth always and they over heard you telling your boss you’re sick when you just don’t want to go to work. Some of us parents make our children tell a lie ( a little white lie. like some of us will call it) on  our behalf when we don’t want to see a friend, or neighbour or a creditor. example ” Tell Mrs Paul am not at home.
Children learn from seeing how you treat them, overhearing your interactions with others and observing what you do in different situations throughout the day. All the teaching in the world can be undone if your children watch you behave in ways that contradict what you’ve said.
www.babycenter.com notes that it is especially important to show morality in your dealings with your children, even more so than with other people.

If you make a promise, follow through. Show compassion by taking time to listen. Break up fights in a fair and even manner and check your temper. Your children will soon learn through your example that not only is morality important, but a desirable way to deal with others.

5. Narrate patriotic, religious or ethical stories. Question them about the lesson they have learned.

6. Teach your children to be polite, respectful and considerate towards others and  also give them the opportunities  to help others. This will in-still generosity in them.

7. Media exposure plays a major role in our life. While watching the news or even a movie discuss the different aspects and ask the child what he/she would have done in that situation. This will develop a sense of reasoning in children.

8. While performing religious activities involve the child where you can. It generates faith and trust towards God. Involve your child in community service. It will generate an attitude of serving.

9. Use everyday experiences as a yardstick for conversation. Things happen on a daily bases thatched can help us with the platform  to start a conversation that we can use to teach our children about moral values.  It could be an incident you hear about in the news or something they observe someone else do. These can make great on-the-spot lessons.

If you’re waiting in a long line at a grocery shop with your kids and you observe a customer and the cashier arguing with each other, afterwards you could say to your children, “What did you think about the way that customer talked to the cashier?” Try to ask open-ended questions that will get them thinking about values.
You will find a lot to comment on within your family. For example, let’s say you overhear your daughter teasing your son about his new haircut. This can be a natural transition into having a discussion with your daughter about the values of kindness and respect. Even if we didn’t show the best examples as parents by getting angry when someone took your parking spaces we shouldnt be shy to explain to our kids why getting angry at the other person wasnt the right way to act.  

10. Spend quality time with children. The quality of time that you spend with your children has they grow up will help us as parents not to  miss those authentic teachable moments when they occur. You can’t seize the moment if you’re not there to do the seizing.

Focus on teaching morals early and reinforcing them at every opportunity and don’t forget to stand as an example your self.

Yours truly, 
Toke

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