We must understand that no two child is the same they have different talents, interests, develop at different rates and have different strengths and weakness. We should learn to relate to them base on their personality. It doesn’t mean we should pretend that they are good at everything, it is good to let them know their weak point sometimes but we shouldn’t make their inequalities obvious to their siblings.
Comparing your children with each other or with relatives or friends children is a useless activity that will only make you and your child(ren) stressed out.
Parents who compare their children with each other, will eventually produce nervous and jittery children. The child(ren) may become excessively focused on pleasing the parents (and others) and will constantly feel he/she is not meeting your expectations. They will lose their natural confidence and autonomy. There is also no way your children will have smooth and easy relationship if we keep comparing them with each other at every chance we get. “Why cant you behave as nicely as your bother” will only produce jealousy and rivalry between your children always. We can appreciate their talent/abilities by saying ” you are so talented at sport without saying you are better than your brother at sport.
Comparison affects a child directly or indirectly that we may not be aware as Parents. When one of our child is doing better academically than the other(s) we shouldn’t allow other child(ren) feel they are not good enough by the kind of comments/statement we pass verbally which indirectly does more harm than good. For instance, “cant you get all A’s in your exams like your sister/brother” When we want to appraise a good/poor performance we should do it without comparing our child(ren) with each other.
Comparisons most time stir up feelings of inadequacy in a child. It can either build or break the confidence and self esteem of that child. It is humanly for some parents to want to compare their child’s grades with others in other to determine whether his/her academic achievements are “normal”, better or excellent or to instigate the spirit of competition in a child.
For our child(ren)to have a sense of self worth , we must learn to honour the person in every child by accepting each of their individual special traits, quirks and talents.