THE NEGATIVE EFFECT OF COMPARISON IN CHILDREN PART 2


6. It ruins parent-child relationship: If the words your child hears from you always is how the neighbors child(ren) is better than her/him time after time, he/she will eventually start despising you. Children are emotionally vulnerable. They may not be able to see the bigger picture and that you are concerned for them. Instead, they will feel that you are not on their side.

7. Lowers self-worth: Despite his/her efforts, if he /shestill gets to hear that he needs to follow the other child to perform well, this breaks his confidence. The “good for nothing” starts to settle in. This may deteriorate his performance further. It will cause self-doubt. If we are told by someone that we are not good at something and that there are others out there who excel at it, slowly but steadily self-doubt will grow. Our children will be left wondering if they can ever be good enough.

8. Jealousy will take root: If you keep comparing your child with his/her siblings, cousins, classmate, neighbors children virtue, he/she may begin to suffer from pangs of extreme jealousy.  Jealousy is not a very healthy feeling to harbour and the poor child will be tormented by jealousy which could easily turn into hatred and aggression.

9. It will breed negativity: Constant comparison makes a child becomes negative about everything. When others are always being built up and the child torn down, he or she could become negative – why even try if you can never measure up, after all! Rather than embracing new tasks and challenges with a positive spirit, the child’s assumptions about himself/herself and the outcomes of what he or she does will be negative. Negativity is not at all good for a person’s well being. We all want to raise children who are positive and who spread happiness around.

Every child is different, so we should value them for who they are created to be. Words have a powerful way of shaping our children’s self-image, therefore use positive words that can be a miracle parenting tool. Rather than pointing out what they do not have, make the effort to compliment them on their positive traits, like their kindness, determination or creativity. Our job as parents is to encourage them at every step they take, not remind them of who else is ahead

Yours truly,
Toke

TIPS FOR PARENTING
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