Teens are supremely self-centered, self-important, and self-righteous. They want all the rights and privileges of adulthood, but they don’t really want the responsibilities… Richard Heyman
When teens are in their tantrum stage, they know how to throw new challenges and make you feel clueless about how to be a good parent with their tantrums. These tantrums is bond to occur at one point in our children’s life. For some it might start earlier while some might be latter, the degree of these tantrums might differs but will surely pass, and how we handle it will largely affect the outcome of our children.
Be Approachable: It is wise to always make our children comfortable around us by making ourselves approachable. It is not always by being tough or keeping a serious face that will do the magic. As our children advance in age their curiosity increases alongside. There are variety of things your teens will want to talk to you about. Yet if we as parents don’t make ourselves approachable, and give them that platform to express themselves they will find confidant elsewhere. While they’re an open book to their friends who they talk to constantly via text messages and social media, they might become mute when you they are with you.
Create Time: Time is what most of us parents don’t have for family as result of what we do. Spending quality time with your teenage child doing what interest them brings closeness between you and them. It also helps us know our children better. (Read spending time with you child). It helps us know more about whats going on in their mind and around them. When you really think about it, there’s no reason to be mad at your child for being himself or herself; for finding it very difficult to share their feelings with you or for lacking skills to make better choices when you’re hardly ever around to help guide them into doing it right.
Talking isn’t the only way to communicate and during these years it’s great if you can spend time doing things you and your children enjoy, whether it’s cooking or hiking or going to the movies without talking about anything personal. It’s important for children to know that they can be in proximity to you, and share positive experiences, without having to worry that you will pop intrusive questions or call them on the carpet for something.
Listen: Most of us listen to talk back. We do not listen to understand what the other person is saying. Understanding is one vital key our children need from us. Listening carefully to the other person’s perspective and explaining your own feelings and views rather than accusing him/her removes arguments and supports effective communication.
Teenagers can be surprisingly easy to talk with if the parents make it clear that they’re listening to the teen’s point of view. When something happens, and your teen child is trying to give you his or her own side of the story and the next thing you say is, “shut up your mouth!” and insults following, you just ended the chance of ever having a heart to heart talk with your teenager. If there is every tendency that your child can be guilty, hear him/her out. If you are curious about what’s going on in your teen’s life, asking direct questions might not be as effective as simply sitting back and listening. Children are more likely to be open with their parents if they know they would listen, not judge and if they don’t feel pressured to share information. It is good to be open and interested… not prying.
Don’t Be Rude: Yeah! I know lots of us parents will raise an eyebrow at this. What do you mean i should not be rude? I gave birth to that child. It is the child’s responsibility to respect their parents sure but many of us always avoid to read where it says, “parents do not provoke your children to anger“.
Respect is give and take. Lack of respect will make a father beat his 30 years old daughter because of her 11 years old step-sister. Apart from our children being human, we won’t get respect back from them if we don’t give it .
Every teenager loves to be heard, treated like an adult and spoken to with respect. Parents and teens can bridge the communication gap with a little patience and a healthy measure of R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Show respect for your teen’s opinions, feelings, dreams and ideas.
Give Trust: Trust is an important ingredient in a relationship to grow stronger. Trusting our children is a way of telling them we believe in them. Therefore, it is important we look for ways to show them that we trust them by asking him/her for a favour, committing certain responsibility to them, asking them for ideas/opinion of matters related to them or the family. and be collaborative. Giving them such a privilege shows that you think he/she can handle it. Teens want to be taken seriously, especially by their parents. Therefore, letting your child know you have faith in him or her will boost his/her confidence and make him /her more likely to rise to it. Let them see that you believe in them and that you’re not mad at them for struggling in their lives.
When you let them see that you have faith in their abilities and they have the space to work things out on their own, you will begin to develop true confidence in they.