It is getting harder and harder for young adults (18 years old and above) to move out on their own due to the financial responsibilities involved. Therefore, more of these young adults (18 years old and above) stay home a little longer. When this happens, we need to learn not to be over controlling and less demanding of them. Telling ourselves the truth by accepting the new phase of our children’s life that they are now adult makes parenting an adult much easier.
We can not be all protective of our children, to keep them safe and to ensure that they do what is right forever. We will only be hurting them than helping if we do not learn to give them the ground to plan their lives, to dream, to make choices and decisions. How then do we find out if we have done a good job or not in bringing them up?
Age 18 could be the most difficult for some of us parents to handle, knowing fully well some of our our 18 years old children can be over bearing. As parents, we always want to stay in control and call the shuts all the time. I feel it can be better if we do more of listening, trusting, talking to them with respect and avoid lecturing.
Don’t let your fears make you have lack of confidence and faith in your child. They need you behind them 100%. Do you want to be the “know it all” parent and control your 18 year old? Or do you want them to be able to come to you and ask a question?
We(parents) should make it easy for our young adult children to come to us with questions. This can only be achieved if we spend time to start building adult relationship with them. In the case when they make mistakes or wrong decision, they will still have the confident to tell us all about it, knowing that you will help them navigate this life with respect for who they are as a person.
It’s all a matter of the heart don’t you think? If relationship is ruined, good communication will be lost. Being an adult comes with great responsibilities. Therefore, it is not easy on their part to be 18 also. If we truly want to make an impact on our 18 year old child, we need to give them some freedom. That is, if they are showing a sense of responsibility. If not, you can set some boundaries to give a check and balance. Also, make sure that your boundaries are reasonable for a young adult, not for a teenager.
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